Toasts of the town

Goood morning everyone! It's time, once again, to raise our glass and throw a few back with....

People Who Should Have A Drink Today!!! (dingdingding "yaaaay" *crowd roars*!)

First, two rounds of double martinis to the engineers of the Airbus A320 who undoubtedly have been congratulating themselves with pats on the back and ice-slide shots since 9:30 last night when their landing gear didn't end up causing a giant fiery crash on national television. Enjoy it ladies and gentlemen, you've brought a droplet of glory to the ocean of disappointment that is the airline industry.

And while we're at it, a tequila sunrise for that pilot. He's a book/movie deal away from early retirement.

Moving on to the world of entertainment. Kate Moss (wait for it, wait for it) Have a fuzzy navel, Kate Moss. You've reminded us that the 80's aren't just back in the nightmarishly horrible fashions options. Just about everyone is making tracks running away from associating with you, as though hundreds of model slash starlets weren't banging coke on camera. Hell, our society has made Paris Hilton a megastar for consuming another kind of white substance on film. (baaaaZing!)

Let's line up some frothy beers for Scott Baio. No, he hasn't done anything worth making fun of in, like, a lifetime but Charles In Charge rocked our world. And it's Scotty's birthday today. 44 years lame. Cheers, Charles.

And let's not forget Lou Piniella, manager of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. It's being reported that Lou has accepted a 2.2 Million dollar buy out to not be manager anymore. That's right, he'll make 2.2 million bucks next season to do NOTHING. Now that's America. Champagne for Lou.

And last but certainly not least, let's give a frozen marg for the Rocket. Clemmens didn't do anything special today but The Empire feels like he is, generally, a pretty rock on guy and should have a drink on this sunny Thursday.

Eat your Wheaties!

Peace out.