Be Careful What You Wish For

It never has been and never will be easy to live in Boston if you're a Yankees fan, just like it will never be easy to live in Sudan if you're albino. It has been especially difficult for 2005. But many of us have to make sacrifices in life, and we are forced to bear the slings and arrows of a "nation" of idiots.

Being a good Yankees fan requires a lot of good qualities. You have to have a stiff upper lip and be willing to listen to bitter jealous sports fanatics all over the world throw hatred at you for being what you are. You have be stoic. You have to be proud. Of course it helps if you are actually from New York, but this is not a requirement. The only mandatory principle for being a good Yankees fan is to be a true Yankees fan.

I emphasize true because, while being a fan of a winning team you have to endure the droves of bandwagon jumpers. And the only thing more stomach turning than watching a bandwagon jumper cheer for your team is watching them jump as quickly off as they did on at the first sign of adversity.

If there was anything positive to take away from the 2004 post-season it was a freshening up of the Yankees faithful. And for those of us who have been around a while and are still sticking around, we are excited to be a little under appreciated going into the pennant race this year. We're still widely and wildly hated, but we're used to that. True Yankee fans want to win more this year than any other year for nearly a century, in spite of all the hatred that can come our way. The Yankees faithful are out to prove that we might have been down but we were never out.

So here we are, it's late September and the Yanks and BoSux are duking it out for first place in the AL East, and perhaps the last playoff berth in the league. It's crunch time and fans will be more ruthless now than they have been all season, that's expected. Yankees fans are prepared for the irrational, and unmatched I might add, personal attack slogans directed at our players. We can deal with bazillions of t-shirt designs that insult us rather than support the opposing team. We can even handle, difficultly, the highlight reels of last year's ALCS. But the one thing that really lights a fire under The Empire's ass is this:

All week I've had to listen to asinine Sox fans cheering on the Cleveland Indians' pursuit of the Wild Card. It goes something like this, "Of course I want Cleveland to get it, anything that keeps the Yankees out of the playoffs." Boy, what I wouldn't do for a brand new, polished baseball bat and more lax assault laws in the state of Massachusetts.

Are all of these red fans so dumb? They should take a moment away from watering their chunk of Fenway sod and clue into the fact that a half game lead on the Yankees ain't a guaranteed ticket to the post season. And in the event that their team takes a nice big bite of ass over the next week and a half it will be them who sits out of October on account of the Cleveland Indians.

Taking future wins for granted is the first step to blowing it. Just ask those of us who had to endure the biggest choke in sports history. It ain't over 'til it's over. Yes, I'm quite certain I've heard that somewhere. So, here's a free piece of advice, Red Sox Nation. While you're cheering for Cleveland to clinch the Wild Card spot the New York Yankees might be creeping up behind you to, in the parlance of our times, WHUP YO ASS! So, be careful what you wish for, lest your wish comes true.