That's No Moon... or: Are We There Yet???

Deet-deet deet-deet deeteeteeteeeee.... Dateline Washington: The Deccan Herald reports that the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (affectionately known as NASA) has set the year 2018 for the earliest possible date for sending a human to the moon. um...................................................................












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We'll repeat that, because it's a statement that bears repeating. NASA has set the year 2018, THAT'S THIRTEEN YEARS FROM NOW!, as the earliest possible time to send a human to the moon, SOMETHING WE DID ALMOST FORTY (YES 40!) YEARS AGO.

Congratulations are in order for an organization making strides to achieve the unachievable. And let's not forget to mention that it's unachievble because it's already been done! TWICE!

Moving on.

The last few days have been good, sports wise, to The Empire so we will refrain from gloating or even listing any interesting highlights except to say, Bubba Crosby!?!? Dance tiny white man, dance.

In other news,

Jennifer Aniston has told reporters that she's ready to date again after her split from husband, international hot-woman-dumper, Brad Pitt. The Empire is scheduling an exclusive interview for more details. That interview will take place on October 5th, in fantasy land. Stay tuned for highlights.

Happy birthday to slutty Italian actress, Asia Argento. Good to see she's capitalizing on that "xXx" success and expanding into more meaningful and noteworthy roles. Oh wait.

Also, in relatively relaxing news, Dennis Kozlowski and Mike Swartz, the ex-chairman and ex-finance chief of Tyco, were sentenced in New York State Supreme Court to eight and a third to twenty-five years in state prison for stealing MORE MONEY THAN ANY TWO MEN COULD EVER SPEND IN ALL OF ETERNITY from their former company. The Empire is pleased.

And what the hell's going on with the Chicago White Sox?