Friday's Lost Step

The Empire is officially too groggy to bitch. You all better take note of this day because it doesn't come around much. I'll do my best to offend somebody but I'm not feeling the stamina today.

The Empire is groggy because it stayed up late last night watching sports. Specifically, the NFL Kickoff game, the Angels at Red Sox, and the Devil Rays at Yankees. Now while the red shut-out was a welcome respite from watching the BoSux win on botched calls by inept umpire staff, it was a bit of a non-issue. The Yankees some how managed to lose, again, to the Tampa Bay Devil Duds, putting them at 5-11 on the season against the worst team in the AL East. This loss keeps the boys from the Bronx 4 games back in their division and a half game back In the AL wild card race. But even this was not the rub that took the steam out of The Empire's morning.

The Empire is just really really horribly sick and tired of listening to Al Michaels, John Madden, and every other boring sports commentator out there wax on and on for entire games about how great Tom Brady is. Three hours of listening and I just can't take it anymore. Why don't they just march down to the field, toss up a towel, and dive open mouth first into his crotch. Even when this guy throws a ridiculously bad pass or reads a play wrong the commentary is, "oh look how well Tom Brady does this," and "Tom Brady is so great at doing that," or "look how Tom Brady makes this look easy." I CAN SEE THE GAME YOU NUMB NUTTED JACKASSES! I don't need to listen to some old fart with a microphone and glowy pen stroke his ego like they were stroking his bone for the whole evening. Read statistics or shut the hell up! I hate Tom Brady. I hope he gets ass cancer and herpes from his loose lipped girlfriend. Enough already.

The Empire doesn't care who wins anymore (for today or at least until the grouchiness pass) as long someone cuts out John Madden's tongue. Happy Friday everyone.