The Empire has a few important things to address this very monday-like Tuesday morning.

First, three day weekends are truly a wonderous and splendid thing. Why is it we can relax so much better with those quick 24 extra hours? What is it about Monday that fits so much better into the weekend? Who knows. But The Empire submits that the world would be a more peaceful and welcoming place if we seriously considered dropping Monday like a bad habit.

Secondly, breasts are wonderful... everywhere. A well placed pair of boobs can really bring a spark to an idle weeknight. Just last week a complete stranger took out her boobs and gave them a shake for me and a good friend -with no prompting by us I might add- and it really put some extra bounce in my step for the rest of the day. Now, The Empire is not promoting absurd displays for inappropriate exposure, but..... well, yeah it kinda is.

No more numbers-ly. The Empire is happy to announce the arrival of its latest bottle of fine scotch. Last Friday The Empire became the proud parents of Glenfiddich 18 Year Ancient Reserve. And we are so so so pleased.

In other news, The Empire is feeling mad tricky weak today so please send in plenty of complaints. Additionally we'll run through the news pretty quickly.

-Kanye West is an idiot.
-Hurricanes Suck.
-Jerry Rice and Andre Agassi are old.
-Jerry Lew is is still alive.
-Kazaa is screwed.
and
-John Roberts drives a Honda Odyssey and the President likes him.

The End.

Also, a big shout out goes to Basegirl for hooking The Empire up with the flyest burbon pecan pie on the planet. I'm happy to get pudgy on that stuff any day.

Word to the mother.