Is no news really good news?

The Empire had planned to bring you, the adoring public, a new installment of News From Around The Globe. But as it turns out, nothing is going on. Now, this is not to say the all the papers have run blank and the net news blogs have gone unpublished. It just seems that the news is not telling us anything of worth these days. And that got me to thinking, is it not worthy or do we just not care what's doin'.

The proverb goes, "ignorance is bliss." But perhaps the old wise men missed the point. Maybe it's not ignorance that truly makes one happy, maybe it's apathy. The Empire would submit that true and consistent apathy is really the way to keep your world free of sadness and stress. Why argue with the borderline retarded redneck who runs your office's mail room? Just pick up your overdue invoices and comfortably know that he'll probably die of a violent colon infection. Why bother honking at the blonde in the Jeep Grand Cherokee who cut you off while she was gabbing on her cell phone? You can almost envision her perishing in a heap of twisted burning sheet metal when she goes rolling off the highway on-ramp. But that's not really apathy, that's faith in karma. Real apathy is complete emotional discompassion. It's the confidence in yourself to disassociate hate, angst, excitement, and frustration. It's not letting emotional weakness get the better of you. And it's knowing that being stoic is always better than advertising your emotions to the world.

So, in effect, no news is good news. Knowing what's going on but not getting wrapped up in the hysteria is priceless. Ignoring the people you used to hate, taking care of the people you love, being a mystery to all of them, these are the ways to avoid problems. People who live on islands often have to weather out storms because there's no where else to go. Well, we all live on emotional islands and we can't run away from the happenings of our lives. So, why not just not care as much. If you don't make something a big deal, then it isn't. 95% of any news or event is perception. The other 5% is fictitious elaboration.

So, what's the real key to enjoying life? The Empire recommends German beer and ocean.