The Empire Winces

Well well well, looks like the cylce is finally complete. George Lucas has finally crashed the ambulance and The Empire's namesake can finally be at rest.

As of November 1, (Not) Star Wars, Episode III : Revenge of the Splif is fully available to the general viewing public on DVD. And despite the fact that it was a total piece of crap it will certainly sell like crazy.

The Empire wholly disapproves and demands that Lucas Films stops, turns around, and remakes these three prequals in "Non suck" special editions, available for immediate release. Also, they should be given away at no charge to people who paid to see any of them in the theater.

People who paid to see all three in the theater should be paid a thousand dollars by Lucas himself. Hand delivered. In the freezing rain. With no shoes on.